And now for a subject that can be a little controversial! There are definitely two camps on this, so where do you sit?
Christmas has never been a particularly happy time of the year for me. I know when I was a kid, it was always a bit stressful... my parents separated when I was very young so Christmas meant being shuffled between two households. I know what some of you would say... two Christmases! Twice the fun, right? Not really. It was usually mornings with Mum and afternoons with Dad and it was always pretty stressful. I'm not sure how much of that is on me... but I always ended up fighting with someone or getting upset over something, and I didn't really enjoy my day. Also, something I've learnt about myself over the years is that I prefer the joy of giving gifts more than I enjoy receiving them.
This year it has been quite a bit easier, because I'm not working full time and things have been a little less crazy. However, the craziness of the season is infectious and five Christmas functions and one family Christmas down, with one more to go, things are feeling a little frazzled. However, I'm in a much better place than I usually am at this time of year. Normally my health would be failing under the strain of work and trying to get things finished before the break. The other reason it is a little less stressful is that I'm not expecting friends to stay over the break. Because I live at the beach, people want to come visit and spend time over the holidays. Don't get me wrong, I love having friends visit, and I love my friends and enjoy catching up with them, but this year it is really nice to have more "me" time. It also means that I don't have to put up Christmas decorations just because that is what other people expect. My Christmas decorations are the gorgeous pohutukawa trees in my back yard! I'm still learning to let go of wanting to please others... and this has been a great step.
Now, I don't hate Christmas, but given the world we live in now, Christmas doesn't hold much significance for me. What I am grateful for is to have family and friends around to celebrate with and probably eat too much! So this year, the reason I don't have friends coming to stay is that I have decided to foster four little kittens! So I have a full house already and not much peace and quiet except when they're asleep! These kittens don't have a Mum and are a bit timid, but they are just awesome little individuals! I've had them for a week and have them for three more, waiting until they are big enough to go back to the SPCA to be adopted! It's my job to make sure they are happy, friendly little kittens that are adoptable (no biggee!). Spending time with these little critters is tiring, but it also brings me so much joy watching them learn and play and grow!
So, I don't know what you're up to this Christmas, but if you're like me and it can be a tiring and stressful time of year for you, then I would like to remind you to take time for yourself where you can. Set some boundaries and don't feel bad to say no when something isn't right for you. What you agreed to a few weeks ago may no longer feel right, so practice saying "no". Let's just do what we are able to. One of my big learnings this year is about listening to my body, knowing my limits and being kind to myself.
Another reason Christmas isn't great for me is that it is a time to be with family and friends, and not all of my family and friends are still around to enjoy it with. So, I spend time thinking about them. Those special people I have lost have been part of the inspiration for me taking this step back from a busy, stressful career that wasn't making me happy. Life is short, make the most of it, and do what makes you happy, not what makes other people happy.
So, some might call me a Christmas Grinch, but I'm happy to wear that label if it means I am happy, health and true to myself. For those of you out there who are learning to set boundaries like myself, stay strong! Try to enjoy this time of rest and reflection as we head into a New Year!
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